Beginings...

I met Michael when he interviewed me for a job at Wal-Mart . Back in 2007!... Time sure has a way of slipping through my fingers. He was charismatic, energetic, funny and I was in awe of him. Our friendship grew, we where so different I think that's what pulled us in to each other even more. He always had a way of making me laugh, I could never stay mad at him .

     Fast forward to February 2012, Michael had  been sick through the beginning of the year, he would complain to me about his stomach, he was having some pains. But he cold never pin point what the issue was. I would tell him go to the doctor, get this checked. He would always say "NO" so damn stubborn always. I fought with him about it until I  annoyed him he finally gave up. He set the appointment , did he go?!.. of course not!.. It was always some excuse. I finally told him fine, stop complaining to me, I don't want to hear about it anymore. Of course he got upset. Days passed and things didn't get better. He started to miss work more often, I was getting more and more worried. One night he sent me a message and said I can't handle this pain, I responded with a finally!, and told him we where going to the ER , I didn't care if he approved or not.

So off we went, I could see in his face, the pain, the worry , the anxiety building up. I told him to relax and that everything would be fine, but inside I was just as scared and worried as him if not more. Doctors ran test and the diagnosis was diverticulitis . We looked at each other in awe in disbelief. The  doctor told him to be careful, and watch what he ate, if things got worse or if he didn't take care then he would need surgery to clean out his intestines. The doctor advice him to follow up with someone outside the hospital and he advice him to take a colonoscopy test. He warned him in some cases this can turn into cancer, if not cared for or treated...  Serious?, it was. But looking back I don't think he took it like that. He was sure he would get fine with medications.

Things started looking better, Michael was taking his medications, his pain had gone down, some was gone. He was back to being the goofball and foodie that he was. Did he watch what he eat?... oooh no, I think to some degree he ate more crap. Let me say this though , because I know he is probably looking down at me with his " are you really telling them this" face.. he did stop eating popcorn.. lol for like two weeks. I would tell him to watch what he ate. But as usual he listened for a day or so. He went back to playing his beloved basketball, he was back!.. Or so I thought. In hindsight that was the last time I saw him really truly happy. Doing what he loved.

July 2013, his pain was back worse, as usual I had asked and asked that he make a follow up appointment , and to schedule the colonoscopy. In his defense he did schedule it. I was supposed to pick him up and take him, did he listen?... nope you guessed right he didn't. TWICE he canceled that appointment. I often wonder "what if" oooh those words have haunted me. They did him too. Could things been different if he had gone? .. Would they have caught it?... the possibilities in my head are endless. In those days of pain he would message me ant tell me how he was hurting and he was scared. I tried to make him feel better, but I wasn't convincing him. He said he could sense my worry too. So what do we do?.. we google it!.. I mean what else is there to do?!..  Worst thing ever, but I figured it out. I didn't say what I found, I couldn't, how dare I even think that could be it?.. I brushed it off. Then he said it. " Zaira, I think I have cancer"... my heart sank, I couldn't bring myself to say anything, but "shut up". You don't have cancer, stop googling now! I said. We don't even know, he said but what if I do?... I can die. I had no words , nothing came out. He then sensed my worry and said no I don't have that, oh stupid to even think that. Im fine we just have to get through this. Its all good he said. He said "I could never leave you. Sucks for you because now you are stuck with me." We laughed, I agreed and told him the same thing we are stuck to each other.

I was at work when he sent me a message.. " Im going to the ER"... I mean those five words gave me chills. I was nervous, scared, worried, everything was going through my head. EVERYTHING. I told him to keep me updated and if anything to let me know and I would be there with him. I was trying to stay positive . I got out of work and called him, no answer. My worry had increased, he sent me a message and just said, " Im going in for surgery in less than fifteen minutes, please get here before I go in." I changed and left for the hospital. He was in pre-op ready to go in. He held my hand and we prayed, I told him not to worry that things would be better. He smiled , he said I know. Don't worry. His mom was in the room with us, he asked her to step out.

He looked at me and shed few tears, and told me he was scared. Again I reassured him, told him not to cry that everything would be fine. In hindsight I think he knew things were about to change.  Surgery took longer than expected. Five hours later surgeon came out and told us he was going to be moved to a room, and that things had been cleaned. We smiled hugged each other and waited for him. He was moved back to his room, it was late. He looked at us and smiled. He asked his mom and siblings to go home and rest, asked me to stay the night with him, I did.

The next morning, we were laughing having breakfast thing seemed so good, little did we know. The surgeon came in, smiled said hi, then his  expression changed. My heart sank, I knew there was something wrong. He then went on to tell us , that they had found tumors in his colon, that they were being tested for cancer, but that we would need to speak to a oncologist. He said sorry and left the room. Those moments of silence seemed eternal. I sat down, in disbelief, cancer?.. no the doctors are wrong I thought, it can't be. He looked at me and said " please say something".. I had nothing, I just started to shed tears, I couldn't even look at him, I didn't want to see his face, I couldn't deal with it. I broke down. He didn't.

He held my hand, looked at me gently placed his hand on my chin and said look at me; I did, our eyes locked mine full of tears, his wide open and with a smile. He said " I will be fine, don't worry please look at me I'm fine.".. I looked back at him and cried, but what if your not?.. he said "well then we will fight. I promise you right now, I will never give up. I promise I will fight until we kick its ass!.."

I composed myself and said well we need to talk to the oncologist we don't even know if its cancer. He decided he didn't want to tell his mom or family anything until we heard from oncologist. The next morning, we were so nervous, anxious waiting for the oncologist. Finally he walked in. I swear I don't know how I stayed calm, and strong. He sat down, took out a piece of paper and said Mr. Rangel, I'm sorry to inform you that we have found cancerous tumors in your colon. My heart raced, I felt like I wanted to vomit, I looked at him and he instantly grabbed my hand. He then told the doctor what does that mean and how are we going to beat it?.. I love him for not giving up and being ready for the fight.

The doctor looked at us and said , " your life has now changed, you will be sucked into a world you knew was there but never had to deal with".. those words will forever stay with me. He was so right our life's had changed.