Dating

So dating. UGH..

I feel so out of the loop. haha

Well listen, I didn't think I would be dating anyone. I had shit planned in my head, of what we were supposed to do. But you know this death thing kinda changed shit around. Those plans evaporated in front of my eyes. So now here I sit. Single, and ready to mingle. When did shit get complicated?

I mean , these guys are vicious, well SOME of them. Say one thing do another. But I guess its a life thing. Because that happens a lot. I am more of a say and do kinda chica. Makes me want to stay single. Its a damn process, but why not a fun one. Some I feel are interrogating me, while others have no clue. Listen guy, lets just go with the flow. Lets just laugh and enjoy whatever the hell this is or what it can turn into. Some are very conservative other are straight up flashing me, some I really don't mind... haha . No in between .

But I get it. This is how it is. Fine. I will manage. I am who I am at the end of the day. Its just weird being in this situation. But I am handling the best way I know how. Now how to I deal or what do I say when they ask why I am single?

Well i'm single because I had no choice. ? haha... just being honest. I didn't want to be Its a sensitive subject. I don't consider him being my ex, because we didn't break up. I have told one guy I was in a relationship and he passed away. He made me feel so uncomfortable. He kept apologizing to me. I mean why are you sorry? yes I know you didn't know. I don't hold this against you. It wasn't your fault. Then it got awkward. He didn't even know what to say.

Annoying. It's stupid. He went on to tell me it was ok if I didn't want to talk to him. Umm if I wasn't ready I wouldn't be. Can I get a break? I know what I am doing. I get "advice" on what I should be doing or how I should be handling this daily.  He just made me feel awkward.

Maybe it was my fault for bringing it up. I'm ready to live, I am ready to laugh non stop. All I want is to laugh. Its so simple , laugh , enjoy life. Enjoy every moment. That's it.

I don't need judgments. I don't need advice. Some may think this is too soon. Others may say why not sooner? Well I am ready and that's all that matters. I have dealt with it, its a daily thing sometimes. But its ok. I am all good.