Blessings..

Cancer is so draining, its not meant to be easy by any means but damn. Through out our journey we found ourselves lost, confused and scared. All of this was new to us, we didn't know where to go who to talk to . Its a lot to take in. But whenever a door closed we always found another one open. We met so many great people that helped us without needing or wanting anything in return. I don't know how we would of done it without them.

The nurses we met along the way, where just so awesome and understanding and helpful. I will forever be grateful for all the help they gave him. Thanksgiving was approaching , Michael was doing so good. We had so much to be grateful for. He had gone to get a follow up on his blood clot to see how that was doing. The doctor was surprised it was gone after a month, completely dissolved. He didn't expect that for the size that it was. It was great news! The doctor advised him to keep taking his blood thinners just as a precaution , because he spent his days sitting or laying down, and that of course could cause another clot to form. Michael to my surprised listened to the doctor advise. He kept taking the pills.

But he started to get frustrated , his colostomy was still bleeding, his incision hadn't closed, which I was worried about. It had formed a small little whole. I made an appointment with the surgeon as soon as I saw that. But now he was bleeding from colostomy and that little whole that had formed. He got mad, frustrated and everything in between. He was tired of it. So he stopped taking the pills. He continue to tell me he was taking them, I should of checked but I didn't.

The visit with his surgeon was quick but we learned a lot. His body had formed a fistula. When he found out what it was we were concerned. His body basically formed a passage way from his colon to the stomach. So when colostomy went , his fistula did also. The doctor told him it was nothing he could do, it had to heal or if it didn't he would have to in surgically and fix it. So for now he had to deal with it. His bleeding slowly stopped, I questioned it but he lied and told me he was still on the blood thinners. I choose to believe him, looking back that mistake on my part could of changed everything. His fistula was still there , he was dealing with it. Well I was, I had to change the bandages on it, it sucked. But this was normal now, a daily routine I did.

He was eating more, and looking healthy again. I found out he stopped taking his blood thinners I wasn't happy. I basically told him how wrong it was, he didn't listen . He was tired of bleeding. He started walking more, and doing some weight lifting again. He said if I'm not laying down then I wont get a clot, I will walk and lift weights to make up for me not taking pill. I didn't argue I let it go.

Thanksgiving day came and he enjoyed himself, the family was all there we laughed , we ate. It was good. He was almost done with chemotherapy. Things where looking so good for us. His PET scan was in a two weeks , we were so anxious. He had his last session of therapy the first week of Dec. His last day of chemo was amazing he was so happy. He was finally going to rest. HE had to wait a week for all the chemicals to leave his body before he could have the PET scan. If he didn't the scan could be wrong, or not accurate because the scan would show the chemicals.

The day of the scan was here. We left the house for the scan, it was a silent care ride. Our hearts where racing, so many things depending on the results of that scan. I prayed on the way to the doctors, I asked god to give us strength to get through whatever he had planned. I thank him for the blessing we had. We sat waiting in the office, still didn't say anything. They called his name they gave him a liquid to drink, it was like a radiation juice or something of that sort . It would light up any cancerous cells in his body and the PET scan would read it. He drank it in silence. He finally looked at me and said what if its worse?.. I said what if its not? He looked at me and smiled, what if its gone?.. I smiled. I didn't want to jump the gun, to get excited . What if it was worse? I was preparing myself for the worst. They called his name, he kissed me and hugged me.

Waiting sucked, it is a looong sacan. But he finally came out. He said its done. Now we wait.

Waiting for results felt like an eternity, but the day finally arrived. I didn't sleep, he didn't sleep, his family didn't sleep. NONE of us slept. These results could either make us or break us. I expected the chemo to be working, I expected some of it to be gone, he was after all feeling so much better. But so many things where going through my head, I cant even imagine what he was going through.

We sat in the doctors office waiting, silence again. He looked at me and said its in gods hands. I agreed. I looked at him and told him whatever this shows we will be ok. Suddenly I heard the nurse calling us in, my heart was racing, my palms were sweating. God I prayed, give me strength right now. We sat in the room waiting AGAIN..

Finally Dr. Zafar walks in with papers in his hands, his expression was serious my heart sank, He sat down, and got on the computer he read over the test ,looked at us. He then looked at us and said I didn't expect to see the results that I have. ooh god I thought, he went on to day that he usually expects at least some improvement after six sessions but that this was something he hadn't seen before. Get to the point I thought!.. He finally said Michael the cancer is gone.

Michael looked at me, looked at doctor, and said what did say?.. The doctor repeated his statement, its gone. I was in shock, Michael was too. He kept asking the doctor to repeat himself, he said its gone, I can't believe it either. I expected at least to have some containment, but there is nothing. Your cancer was very aggressive I never expected this to happen.

I finally took a deep breath, I heard the doctor, I even repeated it to Michael but I still didn't believe it myself. Tears started rolling down my face, it was gone. Thank you god I thought, thank you for this blessing. The doctor wanted to do another PET scan just to make sure it wasn't a mistake, he scheduled another appointment. But from what he saw he knew it wasn't a mistake, he told Michael he still wanted him to finish the next six sessions of chemotherapy just to get anything that the scan might of missed. All Michael could do was nod, he was still in awe of that moment. The doctor hugged him and told him he had never seen such improvement.

We walked out of the office, into the car. I broke down, I didn't know how to explain what had happened the cancer was GONE. To this day I believe Michael was given a very important blessing a gift. He was cured. I was an emotional wreck so happy. He was still in shock, he looked at me and said so its real? Its gone?.. YES !!! I told him, Michael god heard our prayer I told him. HE cried , I didn't expect this he said, I asked god to bless me, I asked him contain the cancer and give me strength but he gave him this instead!.. This by far was one of our best days. He immediately called his mom and told her the news, she cried she was so happy.

I don't know how to put into word the joy I felt, how grateful I was , how humbled I was. No words will ever be enough to describe that day.

He complied with the doctor and had a second scan, again it showed the same results. What a blessing. The doctor gave him December off , he didn't have to start chemotherapy again till January. He could regain his strength and enjoy the holidays. He didn't care that he had to have more chemo if it meant he was going to kill whatever was left then bring it on!!!